I was Raised, I didn't Just Grow Up....

In the Tree House: I was Raised…I didn’t just Grow up!

By: Samantha Stroube Daviss

As I have become more involved in the throes of motherhood, I am noticing a huge difference in this generation, and my generation, and even that of my parents’ and my grandparents’.

Now I am not going to sit here and talk about how I had to walk barefoot for 10 miles to get to school, or how cell phones didn’t even exist, and when they finally did come out they were either carried in a bag or the size of my backseat…but I am going to talk about kids’ attitudes and expectations.

What got me thinking on this was my girlfriend put a post on Face Book, asking other mothers if we made our kids pick up their toys, or if we did it just to get it over and done with, and done our way. And even though I didn’t respond, it really got my brain thinking…I am guilty of both. I would say half the time, I require that my kids pick up their messes, no matter the outcome or if it is put away to my standards; I am trying to instill some sort of self-respect and responsibility into my kids, by requiring them to care for their things. But, then there are those days, that I am on a mission, and I just want it picked up, and put away in its proper place.

But what got me thinking was I think we “my generation” (the late 20s, 30-somethings, and 40-somethings) do way too much for our kids, and don’t expect enough out of them. When I was growing up, I wasn’t allowed to go outside, watch TV or play with my friends until all of my chores were completed.

And that is where our downfalls are; I think as parents (and I am guilty of it too so please don’t think that I am pointing any fingers, because if I am, just remember I have three more pointing back at myself) that in an age where we are always in a rush, on the go, and not connecting as families the way we used to; the lack of responsibility placed on our children, lies on our shoulders.

This leads me to this great clip that I recently ran across…

I was raised, I didn’t just grow up. I was taught to speak when I entered a room, say please and thank you, and to have respect for my elders. To get up off my lazy butt and let the elder in the room have my chair, say yes sir and no sir; while lending a helping hand to those in need. Hold the door for the person behind me, say excuse me when it’s needed, and to love people for whom they are, not for what I can get from them. I was also taught to treat people the way I want to be treated. 

As I began to pick this phraseology apart, I started to feel an ache inside of me. It makes me sad to watch this generation, our future, fall apart, and fail at living and respecting mankind. 

Not only is it so important for children to speak when spoken to and to initiate a greeting to a fellow peer or to an adult, for the sake of pure manners; but it bodes well on their families and their upbringing; all the while teaching them how to survive in the “real world” as adults. If you are going to make it in any aspect of the working world, you have to know how to speak and connect with other people, and how to show them respect.

“Do unto others; as you would have them do unto you.”

It’s pretty simple, and cuts down to the bone. Treat those, the way you want to be treated. Especially the elders in your life, and in society for that matter. They have earned it…most of them have survived numerous wars, the Great Depression, countless presidents, and an ever changing economy. So like it says, get off your lazy butt and show them a little respect. Because, one day, we will all be in their shoes and it would certainly be nice if some “young whipper snapper” got out of their seat so you could rest your weary bones.

And this one is my pet peevs…look someone straight in the eye, say your greeting while offering a firm handshake. That is Manners 101…it’s not hard, it’s dignified and respectful of the person you are talking to. Male or female, say hello and shake their hand. No one person is better than anyone else on this planet; so acknowledge everyone’s existence. And in addition to acknowledging someone, that goes hand in hand with recognizing their presence. So be sure you are not so absorbed into your own life and own daily routine, that you are unaware of that person right behind you or getting off the elevator with you…hold the door for them.

And the last point that truly rings the loudest in my mind. Love people for who they are, not what you can get from them. Don’t stay with someone, or choose them over another activity just because you may get a “sweeter deal” out of that person. Be with them because you want to, because you love them, and for what they can teach you. Not for what they can give you.

Human kindness really is pretty simple; but raising kids is the toughest thing you will ever have to do. Because who they are is a reflection of who you are. When I became a mother, I always told myself, that if my grandkids come to visit me, send me cards on my birthday, and love me unconditionally, and are just truly good people to their core; then that means I was a good mother. Because I taught my kids well, which in turn lead to another great generation.