A House is more than Just Four Walls

By: Samantha S. Daviss

Well another chapter has closed in my family’s life. We are moving on and starting the next chapter, literally. We sold our house recently, and albeit that we are all very excited about the new house we are going to be building; I am having a very hard internal struggle leaving our current home.

Now in my former life I would have had no problem packing up and moving again, because we moved seven times in a 10 year time span. So it almost became routine to me to have our house unpacked in about a week, and packed back up for another move across the country. I never felt settled, so I never became attached to a house.

But this house, that we are currently in, has been a different story. It has actually been a character in my life’s movie. I realize to most people a house is just brick, mortar, plumbing, and a place to lay their heads; but this house to me is so very much more.

It is the refuge my son and I moved into together after our lives were flipped upside down one hot day in August of 2006. Then about two years after that the man that walked into our lives, and made us realize that it’s okay to smile again, moved into our little house after he made us a safe and happy family again. The three of us were like three little peas in a pod, or as we liked to call ourselves “The Three Musketeers”.

About 18 months after our family became one, we had an addition bless our family…our middle son. So our little house got a huge makeover. We added on a library area, new utility and master suite. But with that growth came some great memories. I have memories of our oldest climbing down in the trenches before the new foundation was poured. I even shed tears when they had to cut down some trees in our backyard to make room for our expanding home. But just the joy and elation that came with our two boys getting to decorate their new rooms and the satisfaction of knowing we were all safe and protected in the walls of this once little house that held two very scared and insecure people, was now the protective haven to our vastly growing family.

Thank goodness we increased the size of that little house, because not but fifteen months later our third little addition blessed the walls of our home. Our family was complete. And the memories began flooding our home and seeping into the walls. From Christmas celebrations, to birthday parties, to dealing with the loss of a very vital family member, to all the happiness and laughter one family could share. Our babies learned to walk and talk in that house; and our oldest came of age. We have watched him grow from a shy four year old little boy to the wonderful young man he is becoming day by day.

So you see this house to me is more than just walls, nails, and concrete; it is my sanctuary. It is actually the house I have lived the longest in my entire life, including my childhood. To most this may sound corny, but in a way I feel like this house rescued me, and taught me that it is okay to smile again, to love again, and most of all to trust again. This house has definitely seen me through my worst times, and my absolute best times. So with it I take an enormous amount of memories, smiles, a few tears, and a bushel of laughs.

You ask why we are leaving. It is because we know right around the corner we have a million more memories to create for our ever expanding and growing family full of boys. Because one day these boys I hold, rock, and caudle will be strapping young men that will come home to our new home and help create more memories for me to relish in. But one thing is for certain, this house may no longer be a part of our daily life, but it will forever be etched in our memories.

It’s Your Right, nay Your Duty

By: Samantha S. Daviss

There are so many things we all take for granted in this world; we don’t mean to, it’s just a part of life and the luxury of living in a first world country. Things like when we need to fill our glass with water, we walk over to the faucet, turn the handle and voila we have water. Or the fact that we can walk out into our garage, turn a key and our car starts, and then we reach above our head and push a little button to open our garage door, and it opens. So you see, we had three things right at our finger tips without even batting an eye…running water, fuel in a working car, and electricity.

This grand country of ours has been through a lot, and we have all managed to pull together and become a fighting entity. That is why the rest of the world envies us so much. From a civil war, to two World Wars, to Korea, to Vietnam, and now the Middle East; we are a country that fights in what we believe in, what we stand for, and our freedom.

And our freedom is probably the principal asset in all our lives as Americans that we take for granted the most. One gift that we have forgotten what all the fighting and wars were and are all about; and that is our freedom to vote, to speak our minds, to work at any job we want, and to travel to any state or country we want. Our freedoms were not received lightly, in fact many lives were lost, families destroyed, and children orphaned for the sacrifices that the great men and women of our military that have given so fervently to us.

So as a form of respect to those that have in fact laid down their lives for us, we need to remember why they have done so. And that is to give us, and our future children the lives we deserve…the lives to live in a democracy, to voice our opinions, to stand up for what we believe in as a society. Obviously we aren’t all going to agree, or see eye to eye on subject matters, but that is the beauty of being an American. We don’t all have to agree, we don’t have to have the same view point as our neighbors, we just all have to stand up for what we believe in and voice our opinion and to get along as a society.

And to voice our opinion, we need to vote! Voting doesn’t always have to be about our next president, or congressman…it can be about things we don’t even realize are happening on a daily basis at the city, county, or even state levels in government. Voting doesn’t have to be about the pomp and circumstance with the issues we hear about on the daily news at the federal level…voting issues can be happening right here under your nose at the city level.

Like right now, our little town has a proposition on the voting ballot to completely renovate, repair, and restore our historic courthouse. Our courthouse is 108 years old, and you can only imagine the stories that could be told if those walls could talk. And that is exactly what our community is trying to do, is save a little piece of history, charm, and aesthetics by bringing the courthouse back to its former glory, without increasing our tax rates one penny. That to me is worth a trip down to the voting polls to save a little piece of history, and restore the building that is filled with grandeur, beauty and stories.

Living in the county seat is a pretty advantageous opportunity from the socio-economic standpoint. If you think about it, it gives more job opportunities, it incorporates a jail, which offers more employment opportunities, and it is the epicenter of our great county.

So take advantage of your rights as an American, and go vote. It isn’t painful, it’s actually a whole lot of fun to know what is going on in your community, and knowing you did your part in helping your community thrive and grow.

Fancier Cars and a Tighter Tooshy will make you happier!

In the Tree House: Fancier Cars and a Tight Tooshy…will make you happy!

By: Samantha S. Daviss

I read the most amazing blog recently in the Huffington Post. It talked about having flatter abs and a better sex life will make you a happier more self-fulfilled person, in a cynical manner. We all subscribe to the mindset of “If I only looked like that person on the cover of the magazine, then I would be so happy; and my life would be just as I want it to be.”

Take it from someone who has been rail thin (I fondly joke of it as being the “Oh so faithful divorce diet”) and when I was rail thin, I didn’t even realize it or appreciate it at that time. Granted I was a little distracted by other goings on in my life, like where my child and I were going to live, where I was going to work…you know, the minor things like that. But my point is when you look a certain way, or drive a certain car, or live in a certain house…your life dreams and aspirations aren’t fulfilled. And deep down you know it to be true.

Right now I am working extremely hard to shed the pounds after having two babies back to back, and much later in life than I had my first child. But you know what? I appreciate every effort I make and all the lumps and bumps I obtain. Because those lumps and bumps meant that I found happiness again after my divorce, my life went on, and I got re-married to the most wonderful man in the world; in addition to creating a healthy, safe environment for my oldest child and myself, not to mention adding two high spirited and joyful little “curtain climbers” to our brood.

Looking at all those magazines and watching $100K+ cars whiz down the highway, in my mind doesn’t equal self-fulfillment; in fact it is just the opposite, it is self-deprecating, to myself, not the owner of the car. Envy can be an ugly green monster that rears its head every so often.

My thoughts are, if you are able to read this column then your life has reached its all time peak. You are either able to afford payment to have the paper delivered to your home, you are able to afford that cup of coffee you’re enjoying in the coffee house you are sitting in as you read this, or if you are online then you are able to not only afford internet service but electricity as well.

A few tips on how to enjoy your flabbier self and domestically built automobile that gets you and your family from Point A to Point B safely, all the while you are able to afford the gasoline in it:

1)      Stop chasing the idea of “I’ll be happy when…” Give up the ghost man! And realize that all your happiness is right in front of you. You’re alive, aren’t you? Then it’s time to start enjoying what you have been given, instead of pouting over what you don’t have. Stop trying to “Keep up with the Joneses!” Who in the hell are the Joneses anyway? Some family that lives on Martha’s Vineyard? Escapes from the chaotic lifestyle of the city on the weekends, only to enjoy a few fleeting moments of peace and serenity in a beach house that they get to stay in a total of 36 hours every other weekend, because they are too busy working and missing out on what is really important in life? Who cares who the Joneses are…

2)      Understand that the world revolves around the sun, not you…Our problems and stresses seem so large to us sometimes, but in reality they are so infinitesimally small that we are all just one small piece to an amazing puzzle.

3)      It’s OK to say I’m sorry…Rudeness will get you no where. You don’t have to apologize in a self-deprecating manner, as if you are apologizing for the pure existence of yourself. But if you bump into someone, or change plans last minute, or just change your mind…think about how it might affect the feelings of the other person standing in the room with you. It’s not all about you!! Say I’m sorry. It really isn’t that painful…let’s try it: “I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you standing there, are you OK?”; or “I’m sorry I changed my mind, I really don’t want to do that any more, I hope that doesn’t upset you.” See there, that didn’t hurt a bit.

4)      Be Kind…Ellen DeGenres signs off every show with “Be kind to one another”. And every time I hear her say that I just want to jump up on my couch and scream “Amen”. Is everyone just that wrapped up in their own lives or just that completely oblivious to their surroundings that we have forgotten how to be kind to one another? Being nice is FREE…and there aren’t too many free things worth any value left in this world.

We are creatures of habit, for the most part we will always want what we can’t have, but if you think about it, you already have most every thing people want. The ability to read, which means you’re educated; the ability to process this column and decide whether or not you agree, which means you are a strong independent person that is able to make up your own mind; the ability to drive to the coffee shop and read this column, which means you can pay for gas, pay for food, and you are a healthy human being that has all your limbs that allow you to pick up the paper or your iPad to read this column.

Now to me, all this is way more important that a super fast car or a tight little tooshy.