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Tuesday, March 31, 2015

You know you’re too tall when…




By: Samantha S. Daviss

My friend just recently shared an article about the struggles of being under 5’3” tall. It talked about how shorter women feel the need to carry a step stool around with them constantly, how they can’t see their image in a bathroom mirror, or not being able to reach things on grocery store shelves.

It made me laugh, because most of my friends are of average height, 5’5” to 5’7”; but this friend who posted it is standing at a blazing 5 feet tall. She and I have been friends since basically the womb. We started pre-kindergarten together, and our height difference has always been a factor in our friendship. I call her my pocket friend, because to me she is so little I can cram her in my pocket. So before I go any further, I guess I need to explain just how vast our height difference is; she stands at 5’ tall and I stand at a polar opposite of almost 5’11” tall. So that is almost a foot between us.

To see us walk away together is rather comical, but when we are sitting down next to each other, I actually think she is taller than me. I have the most “squatty body” (or short torso) of anyone in the world. But reading this article made me laugh and think. We always think about how hard the world is when people are short, but to be honest, there are some hang ups to being tall too. Especially a tall female. I’m not saying I don’t love being tall, but it definitely took some getting used to.

When I was younger in junior high and high school, I actually wasn’t comfortable with my height at all. For the most part I was always taller than all the guys. I remember one year I went to prom as a sophomore with a senior, and I had to bend my knee and stick my leg out a bit, just to shrink down to his height for the pictures.

But as far as downfalls go to being a tall female, here goes:

1)      Your pants always look like you put them in the dryer too long, or that you are expecting your house to flood at any moment.

2)      Your shirt sleeves are either always rolled up or shoved up to your elbow, because they aren’t quite long enough to cover your long orangutan arms.

3)      Not all light fixtures are hung high enough. I’m just saying people, our foreheads will hit the light fixture if you don’t shorten the extension rod.

4)      In pictures you always feel like the big tree in the back row. So don’t even bother wearing a cute outfit to school on picture day, you will NEVER be in the front row for it to be seen.

5)      Those cute little fashionable boyfriend jeans don’t work on our long legs, because there again, they don’t roll at the ankle, they are more mid-calf. So it looks like we are going clam digging.

6)      Walking under ladders, need I say more?

7)      Older homes with lower door thresholds…again…they won’t cut the mustard with us “Amazonians”.

8)      Car seats have to be all the way back, giving the person behind you no room. And the same goes if you are in the back seat…your knee caps have to taste really good.

9)      And the same goes for airplanes. Really, you want my 5’11” self to crawl over you people to sit in the window seat? Ok fine…then just so you know I will have to go to the bathroom at least 15 times on this flight.

10)   And don’t get me started with cheer and dance. For some reason height is synonymous with being the base of every single cheer or dance pyramid known to man. Just because I am tall doesn’t mean I can support 15 people on top of me.

11)   Men are typically scared of us. Like being tall made us a monster or has given us the ability to eat them up. Just because we are tall doesn’t make us scary or mean. It just means that…wait for it….we are tall.

So you see there is humor to be found in being extremely tall in life too. You just have to take the good with the bad…and to be honest I have loved being the height I am. I wouldn’t trade my “sasquatch-ish” self for anything in the world.

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